| Home alone again with no one to talk to as I slowly wither away.... |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|08:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Locust | ] |
It's that time again, that time where Im sitting around doing nothing while the whole world is ahead of me...
That stupid buisness my parents have is starting to piss me off
It keeps interfering with my so called "life" and Im really sick of it
I wish I could spend time with that someone special but Im just a big loser with absolutely no choice.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|12:53 pm] |
Well, I've made some changes to my journal
Things are looking really good for me now except for a few things
One: My Report Card blows and I have'nt showed it to my Dad yet in fear of restriction FOREVER!
And second, stupid stuff including family and School.
Other than that, I think my wait is about to pay off.
Tommorow is Valentines Day and I have something for someone
And right now Im taking it easy
Thanks. |
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| The Crucible |
[Feb. 4th, 2005|10:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nirvana- Rape Me (Acoustic Demo) | ] |
That play was sooo scary
With all those Witch's worshiping Satan....ahhh...
Had a good time with, Kyle, Chelsea and Alison
Kyle's chair squeaked alot
So we were laughing and messin around
Doug snuck in for free
Good times...
Goodnight Everyone! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|05:09 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | HORSE The Band - Cutsman | ] |
A new semester has started and I have all A's
I found out that after all my finals, I got D's in all my classes
My Washing Machine was about to explode this morning
Kinda starting to like someone
My classes all stayed the same, so I passed them all
I had very little homework
And I need more sleep.
Goodbye. |
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| EMO |
[Jan. 24th, 2005|05:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sore | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Too many to list.. | ] |
Dude! I swear, Im so freakin Emo!!
I had a fine day until 4th period, due to those certain feelings..
I was all alone in the back of the room doodoling in my journal until I got so angry I ripped through a page
I was about to cry, NO JOKE! I embarass myself...
Then towards the end of the period Kyle gave me a hug and tried to cheer me up
Thanks Kyle, your my best friend : ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 22nd, 2005|09:57 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  angry | ] |
I wish I was rich
So I can buy a guitar and set up an entire set and destroy it
Im angry right now, so that's why Im writing this
High School sucks and just makes me wanna end it all
I no longer have to hide
Let's talk about someone else
Stinging soup against her mouth
Nothing really bothers her, she just wants to love herself
I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No though was put into this
Always known it'll come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to fail
PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN
You Know You're Right |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|11:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Underoath - The Sun Still Sleeps | ] |
Neon Fields did very awesome
Great coverage of Bohemian Raphsoday <---if that's how you spell it..
Great fun on a Friday Night
Me and Kyle were rocking out to Underoath in the back seat
Good Day.... |
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| Oh, The Guilt |
[Jan. 19th, 2005|03:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | NIrvana- Come As You Are | ] |
When I came home today, I went straight to my room blasting Nirvana's "I Hate Myself And Want To Die" with tears down my face because of a stupid GIRL, whom I just tried to be nice to and have a conversation and basically to have a friendship but she throw's it right in my freaking face when she get's up and walks away. HOW FREAKIN SHALLOW IS THAT!? What the hell does she want me to do? Does she not want me talking to her??? Maybe it's the fact she feels sooo freaking guilty from ruining our friendship she plain out does'nt want to continue. What did I do?? Damnit... |
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| 15th Anniversary... |
[Jan. 17th, 2005|12:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | grateful | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bleeding Through - Revenge I Seek | ] |
R.I.P
Michael E. Hamblin
195? - 1990
It's been 15 years since you took your life..
We miss and Love you Uncle Mike |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2005|07:53 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
I given up on EBay so Im just gonna buy the ipod from ipod.com so I can get it ingraved.
I have no life, so I think I should end it...but...it's not the best choice...
I no longer can feel my heart pumping because Christina destroyed the whole damn thing
So, now there's this empty space in my chest just waiting to be filled up with something to give me a reason to live.
All I ever do is stay home and Im sick of it.
I feel like I have no friends and it makes me wanna kill myself even more
Then all my "friends" can notice me but I'll be dead so I would'nt see it happen
Why is there so much death in my mind?? All because I tried to love...I just tried to love.
But the love I can show, Christina does'nt give a rat's ass!
IF THERE'S ANYONE OUT THERE THAT CAN TELL ME IM WORTH SOMETHING, PLEASE TELL ME!!!!
I need to know
I lost all hope
And I want it back |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 14th, 2005|03:14 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | moody | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here | ] |
Well, I feel really left out right now
I wish Christina and I could hang out more
but I guess that'll never happen hence the fact her parents hate me for giving her a lot of guilt, when no one knows what the hell I've been through...My Dad wants me to see a councelor...I don't really want too but it may be useful to me, I feel like a mental case, all because of a girl. I wish I could see Christina more, we never have a chance to hang out and just be friends, but it looks like all she wants to do is to spend time with the guy she's is "in love" with....Im a loser. I need to find something to do tonight, I don't want to be alone again... |
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| She's into Guilt |
[Jan. 13th, 2005|07:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
I hate the people who place a bid over your budget |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 12th, 2005|04:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Angry, Destructive Stuff | ] |
:Ramdom, screaching, noises from a Guitar while Angrily ripping out the strings and smashing the hell out of it:
If you have not a clue of what Im saying, then listen to Nirvana's Endless Nameless and you will get my point...Man, that song gets me so angry |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|03:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  anxious | ] |
Uhhh...Love Sick
I wrote Christina's name all over my journal today...
I really need to drop it
Because obviously she does'nt need me.. |
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| Won't you beleive it's just my luck? |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|07:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nirvana - Endless, Nameless | ] |
Well, the Ipod I was bidding on went to someone else
But, Im watching 10 more so it's ok : D
Liam says Ipod's off of Ebay are scams, Damn you Liam!
I'll prove you wrong!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 7th, 2005|07:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
My heart hurts
And Im all alone
She left me crying
She's always left me crying
Ans yet she wants to understand, but she does nothing
She has no empathy even when she demands some from me
"We can't have a good relationship if you don't understand what I go through"
Why don't you set an example??? Gawd <---Great, Im so in love with her, I picked up the way she freakin types ---> I mean, c'mon..I can't take it anymore, as of now, I don't think I can feel my heart, serious, that's how much damage she's done, and does'nt seem to make up for it. I just want to die. Then she can never make up for it.... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|09:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
I can't take this shit anymore
I smashed my cell phone on the ground i was so angry
I wish I could be that special guy who can give her freakin roses on her b-day
and make her smile
and make her fall in love with me
but I can't
Im just a little, stupid, worthless, not to be taken serious, low life, who can't feel a single thing, who supposedly has no understanding or empathy, who never gets a chance to prove himself, who's judged by his first move kind of freakin friend!!
Im nothing!
That hurts damnit! but what the hell does she care???? seriously!
"What's wrong Nigel? What's wrong?"
You damn right know what's wrong! and even if I told you, you would'nt do anything, you'd go on with your life like everything is sooo freakin fine and perfect and nothing can be better. While Im in the corner plotting my freakin death! How can you say I don't have any empathy?.....I can't see you any more, I can't just be your friend...I need time to try and move on...for the past year! It hurts to see you with that heart shaped box around your neck, while Im just wondering around in sorrow, I feel like such an idiot. I wish I could do soooo much! Im am weak. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2005|03:03 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nirvana - Milk It | ] |
Look on the bright side is suicide
Lost eyesight I'm on your side
Angel left wing, right wing, broken wing
Lack of iron and/or sleeping
I had a bad today and Im not happy... |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 4th, 2005|09:19 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Bleeding Through - Love Lost In the Hail of Gunfire | ] |
Well, it looks like the Roses Christina got from the perfect guy, blew my card out of the water...
Oh Well, Who Cares? It's just a little girl
Anyways, my family got a big "wall unit" for the computer, books and other stuff. It's pretty cool, and fancy.
Well, that is all, Goodnight
Oh yeah, did you know the Dutch ruled Indonesia??? That's so rad! |
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